Migos Culture 2 Fake Review

Migos – Culture 2 | The Fake Review

2017 has been a breakout year for Migos, the ubiquitous rap group consisting of family members Quavo, Takeoff and Offset. Supported by monster single, “Bad and Boujee”, the group took control of mainstream rap in early 2017 with their album Culture which achieved Platinum certification.

Culture 2 is due towards the end of the year, Quavo’s attempt to tease the project ended in embarrassing fashion. The Atlanta rapper planned to preview some tracks on Instagram Live, which ended in tears when it became clear he’d lost the hard drive containing the album.

Let’s hope the boys had backed Culture 2 up on some sort of cloud-based storage. This is no great loss; I’m sure Migos will get together, smoke cookie in the hot box then mumble some raps about drop tops thots and they’ll be fine.

While we wait for Migos to get their shit together, we’re going to review what will be likely to feature on Culture 2:

 

migos culture 2 coming soon

Missing: Culture 2, if found please return to Quavious Marshall

1)  Culture’s Back feat. DJ Khaled

Intro time, one again Khaled Khaled is on hand to chastise anyone who doubted the Migos. Co-produced by Khaled’s 8 month old son, fresh off his ground-breaking work on Grateful, [this infant has already contributed more to music than his father].

Me daddy we coming #GRATEFUL @wethebestmusic FAN LUV BE READY

A post shared by Asahd Tuck Khaled (@asahdkhaled) on

2) Dab Daddies

Yet another track about Migos’ great contribution to popular culture, the dab. The only thing more culturally saturated are the Migos themselves.

3) Drop Top

Just in case you forgot the hook for ‘Bad and Boujee’ this is your reminder that “drops tops” rhymes with “drop top”. This track marks the 1000th reference to these cars in Migos music this year.

migos camels

“we bring gold, frankincense and thot thots”

 

4) Can’t Go Out Sad 2 feat. Lil Yachty

The great mumble competition of 2017, as the four MCs compete to see who can make the most disgusting and nonsensical sexual comments. Lil Yachty set the bar pretty low this year when he asked for someone to blow his dick like a cello. Migos are duty-bound respond.

 

5) Cultural Saturation

A Quavo solo joint where he raps about the fact that he’s been featured on every significant rap album this year, despite having very little to say. Even fucking Tyga has a song with Quavo, the man will work with anyone. People don’t even know Tyga still raps, we all thought he was raking in the profits from flogging 4 quid hats for BooHoo Man.

tyga boohoo man

you might remember me from Rack City and sexual predator allegations”

 

6) Where’s My Wiki!?

Takeoff solo track where he complains about being the only Migo not to appear on ‘Bad and Boujee’ and is the only member of the group without a Wikipedia page. It’s tough to be Takeoff.

DoItLookLikeImLeftOffBadAndBoujee

A post shared by TakeOff🚀 (@yrntakeoff) on

7) Snow White feat. Lil Uzi Vert

Spiritual successor to ‘T-Shirt’, another song where we get a white object turned into a reference for selling drugs. Lil Uzi Vert jumps in to squeak all over the final verse, because that’s how rap music sounds in 2017.

8) Thots Ahoy feat. Lil Yachty & Skippa da Flippa

A second feature for Lil Boat, who couldn’t resist getting involved in the nautical theme along with his brother in boat Skippa da Flippa.

9) Frog Eyes feat. Gucci Mane

Ode to fast cars, drugs and ladies, classic Migos track about the hedonism involved in being in or around the group.

10) 8 Minute Freestyle

One-upping 21 Savage’s painful ‘7 Minute Freestyle’ we have Offset on his own. Just rapping about things. Rhyming words together. Which is unfortunate because the group are out of subject matter by this point.

11) Sauce feat. Young Thug & Travi$ Scott

An ode to sauce in the vein of classic condiment based tracks like “Too Much Sauce”.

Sauce – Migos have a lot of it, so do Thugger and Travi$ Scott; this is the part of the album where references to dabbing officially get boring.


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12) From the Trap

If you grow up in the trap, you’re going to be making tunes about the trap and how hard you go in the paint. This is album’s closer and brings everything full circle, all the usual catchphrases and adlibs feature:

Ab-libs galore, if you love those rap songs where people shout things in the background, this is the one for you.

migos catchphrases

In conclusion, Culture 2 is an enjoyable journey, possessing all the trademarks that make Migos one of the funnest, energetic rap groups around. However, the trio’s style grates after awhile. Another negative is that this is a completely fictional album, so we have to take this into account when compiling final score.

6 dabs out of 10

What do you think?