Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Uncharted

When I think back to the days of Playstation 2 I will think of such beloved trilogies as TimeSplitters, Prince of Persia and of course, Grand Theft Auto. These games were action-adventure at their finest, they had interesting stories, fine gameplay and a healthy dose of comedy.

While writing this I came across the crushing news that we probably won’t ever see a TimeSplitters IV

 


But those days are over, I stayed loyal to Sony and got myself a Playstation 3, I don’t play it nearly as much as my old PS2, but I still manage to keep up with the modern gaming trends. I’ve completed Skyrim and everything.

 

Pictured: Keeping up with the times


On the PS3 The Uncharted Trilogy is a personal favourite of mine, they are a series of action-adventure games about a treasure hunter named Nathan Drake. The series has a very cinematic feel that makes you feel as if you are playing through a big-budget action movie.

 


 

The Characters:

 

Well there’s the star Nathan Drake (pictured above). He’s some sort of distant descendent of Sir Francis Drake and he spends a great deal of his time following in his ancestor’s footsteps in the hopes of finding treasure. When he isn’t doing this he spends his time making wise-cracks and rescuing  his friends when they are taken hostage.

 

“Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy” – Sir Francis


He is joined by his best-friend Victor “Sully” Sullivan, who acts as a sort of a father figure/mentor throughout the games. I must admit that I thought that he would be killed off in the first game, as these mentor figures are prone to do.

 

*sniff*

And finally we have Elena Fisher, Drake’s love interest. I quite like her too, she’s basically the voice of reason, urging caution and suggesting that the missions are too dangerous. Boring in theory, but it’s handled well.

 

The gang

 

So here are my thoughts on the trilogy, however unlike film trilogies it is hard to reacquaint yourself with what has happened in the previous games without spending 8 hours replaying the story mode. I personally haven’t touched the first two games since at least 2010, but I will do my best to remember the highlights. Also, Spoilers!

 

Uncharted I aka Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune


 


Where Are We?: The jungles of South America

 

Why?: Turns out that the city of El Dorado is located somewhere around here

 

What Happens?: Well, El Dorado is in fact is cursed. It turns people into mutants, the main villain wants to harness this power and sell it on the weapons market. Also it turns out that some Nazis were looking for El Dorado during WWII so, it’s Drake vs. Mutant Nazis.

 


Nazis, jungles and lost treasure? Get Harrison on the phone!

 

Was It Good?: Yeah it was alright. I remember not being a big fan of the jungle, and if I’m honest my least favourite video game setting is the jungle. Jungles have little variety, maybe the developers can throw in some swimming sections or a Jeep chase, but that’s all that they can really do.

 

Although I remember the Jeep chase being a particular highlight


My main memory of this game was the final boss. He was absurd, it took me literally an hour of retrying before I could finally win the battle.

 

Plus he looks like a poor man’s Robert Downey Jr.

 

Verdict: I wouldn’t call the game forgettable, I just feel that the other games in the are far superior and have overshadowed Uncharted I. So I’m afraid that I am going to have to give it a lowly 6 Indiana Jones-style whips out of 10

 

 

Uncharted 2 aka Uncharted II: Among Thieves



 Where Are We?: This is mainly in Nepal, specifically The Himalayas. So that means snow.

 

Why?: Drake is looking for the lost ships of Marco Polo, he eventually finds some sort of evil stone that turns people into these weird snow creatures that are stupidly hard to kill.

 

Hate these guys


What Happens?: Well it turns out that Drake and Elena had broken up between games, but they run into each other. I remember being genuinely happy to see Elena when she makes her first appearance at about the half-way mark.  

 

Their sexually tense, “Will they? Won’t they?” relationship reminds me of a certain beloved television couple

 

I realised at that point that I was fully immersed into the world of Uncharted, the gang was back together, Drake Sully and Elena ready to hunt treasure and fight bad guys. And they even get back together at the end in a nice heartwarming ending.
Was it good?: This game was a marked improvement on the first one, it was very cinematic. There were a lot of big set-piece shootouts, most notably the level where you fight on a train. It had everything you want from a train sequence, there was fighting on the roof, helicopters and to top it all off the train derails and is left hanging precariously off the side of a mountain. Then you have to climb up the wreckage to safety as the train begins to slip off the cliffside.

 

A genuinely exhilarating action sequence

 

The Verdict: This game really made things a lot more interesting, there were varied areas to fight in, a village, a temple and the mountain tops. The variety and set pieces really improved things, plus with the characters having already been established it allowed the story to start much quicker and progress without the need to introduce a lot of characters. I give it a strong 8.5 abominable snowmen out of 10.
 

 

Uncharted 3 aka Uncharted III: Drake’s Deception



 Where are we?: The desert. Brilliant. There aren’t a lot of games that use the desert as a setting, it is very refreshing and it let me live some of my favourite desert movie moments. Such as wandering through the desert for days without water.

 

Complete with mirages!


Why?: Turns out Francis Drake went on a secret mission to Syria to find the ‘Atlantis of the Sands’, and Drake is following in his footsteps to uncover the mystery.

 

What happens?:  So towards the end of the game Sully gets shot and dies, (I actually gasped when it happened.) The villain lady unleashes an army of dudes with flames for heads, classic Uncharted, the supernatural enemies had arrived and they were predictable difficult to kill.

 

Seriously fuck these guys

 

But the level becomes increasingly surreal until it is revealed that the entire sequence was actually a hallucination , and we are greeted to Sully’s healthy face as Drake re-enters reality. It sounds like a very cliché plot twist, but the game sells it very well, and I felt very relieved that nothing had happened to Sully.

So, yeah Uncharted III sticks to human enemies, minus the dream sequence.

 

As is tradition Elena comes in about half-way through the game and helps Drake out, but she’s much more serious in this game. She questions why Drake is still trying to beat the bad guys and accuses him of being blinded by his pride. She’s right, he really has no other reason to keep going other than pride, plus he is also putting everyone else in danger by doing so.

 

He’s too old for this shit

 

It injects actual drama into the story, and makes you question Drake’s motivations and if the mission really is important.

 

Either way, Drake continues regardless and takes down the bad guys, the ending strongly implies that he is going to marry Elena as the gang flies off into the sunset.

 

hopefully they all decide to move in together

 

Was it good?: Good? Yes. Difficult? Incredibly. This may be one of the most difficult games that I have ever played, there are so many henchmen and they are all have stupid amounts of health. Each action sequence feels overwhelming and I most certainly struggled through this game.

 

Having said that the game itself is fantastic, there are so many great moments, the stand out example is when Drake is escaping from a sinking cruise ship. You have to run through the ship as it is sinking looking for a way to escape, plus there are still guys trying to kill you, the whole thing is genuinely exhilarating, like the last hour of Titanic. But with guns.


Yippee-Kai-Yay-Motherfucker

 

The thrilling conclusion takes place in the main hall of the cruise ship, which happens to have a literal glass ceiling. As you are going around killing the bad guys and what-not, you can hear the glass starting to crack under the pressure of the water, it is stark reminder that you need to find an exit quickly before the glass shatters like main hall of the Titanic.

 

Because we haven’t had a  LEGO reconstruction yet

 

The Verdict: This is the strongest of the trilogy, it has the best story and action sequences. I have no hesitation in awarding this game a prestigious 9.5 desert scarves out of 10.

 

 

Where next for the series?: Throwing it out there.

 

LEGO Uncharted

 

It just makes sense


 

The Batman

Friends,
Once again summer is upon us, a time when the year’s biggest films are out and we must venture to our local cinema and watch the latest big budget alien/superhero movie.
Last summer it was Transformers, the year before it was Toy Story III. Now in the year 2012 there are two clear blockbuster films and I will be sharing my thoughts on them.

In the Blue Corner


Avengers

                     

In the Red Corner


The Dark Knight Rises

Now this films takes itself far more seriously than the Avengers.
To the ten of you who regularly read my blogging attempts you will know that I am looking for two main criteria in my action movie choices, explosions and lulz, so it is obvious which film I prefer. Avengers was quite a funny a movie overall and the action scenes were spectacular, I was perfectly happy with the characters having fist fights and banter with each other at the start of the film. But then they head to the city of New York and that’s where they really fuck shit up. 
Look! Readers!

The Dark Knight Rises also has about half an hour of city destruction but I didn’t enjoy it as much. I felt like there were serious implications to the destruction of Gotham. Lives were at stake man! Whereas Avengers keeps it light and I could pretend that no one was being injured by all of the flying debris and giant flying worms creatures.

Arguably one of the finest action scenes I have ever seen

But I had a major problem with Avengers, Iron Man. OK I understand that he’s supposed to be this playboy flirty type of guy, but does he really need to make so many jokes. We get it, you’re hilarious Iron Man, but let’s dial the jokes back. I thought that the other characters were much funnier, especially The Hulk, that guy is certified hilarity.
Cocaine’s a hell of a drug
Now I am going to bitch a little bit about Batman.
According to Wikipedia he has a photographic memory
I like that he’s a realistic superhero in a realistic world, and that he doesn’t kill people, but does he always have to be so holier-than-thou about his moral code. The fans are much worse though, they take this whole Batman business far too seriously, it’s like because it’s a realistic portrayal of superheroes in the real-world then it is automatically the greatest comic book of all time.
Case in point, Batman and Robin, for years I heard that this was like the worst movie of all-time, so one day in aught 7 I decided to give it a watch. Now it’s not exactly a good film, but worst film of all time? C’mon guys.
C’mon son

It’s very silly, but it’s also quite funny. If people didn’t take Batman so goddamn seriously it would have a much better reputation. It certainly doesn’t deserve all the hatred. The classic 60s Batman was just as silly and camp and it was great. Every now and then when I am bored in the afternoon I put on a bit of Batman and watch TV’s Adam West ham it up with the boy wonder.

Batman & Robincurrently has a 3.6 rating on IMDB, it deserves at least a 5 for Arnold Schwarzenegger and his puns. He may not be on top form but they’re fun!   He plays the Ice Man and literally makes as many ice related puns as humanly possible. I knew it was only a matter of time before he offered ‘to break the ice with someone.
Anyway it’s not a good film by any stretch of the imagination, it is bad but not 3/10 bad. Ben Affleck’s Daredevil has got a 5.4 on IMDB, I am proposing that IMDB swap the scores, because Daredevilwas arse. Batman & Robin was quite entertaining and had puns, Daredevilhad nothing going for it.

Noone has even bothered to make a LEGO reconstruction of the film, says it all
I also love the Riddler, it makes me wish that these new gritty Batman films would incorporate him into one of the films, but he is such a silly guy that I can’t see a way that they can put him or the Penguin in without making things too ridiculous. And at this point in Jim Carrey’s career he would certainly need something to revive his fortunes, either that or another Ace Ventura film.

Pictured above: hilarity

 My favourite riddle from the 60s show was:
Q: How do you divide 17 apples among 16 people?
A: Applesauce
But I can’t imagine a seriously realistic Batmanfilm making the Dark Knight solve riddles in order to foil an evil scheme to destroy Gotham city
So to wrap things up The Dark Knight Rises is unquestionably the better film, the story is gripping and despite all my complaints about realism, it is nice to see a superhero film where the events take place in the real world. But when it comes to cinema going enjoyment I have to give the nod to The Avengers. Personally, I would have enjoyed Batmanjust as much if I was watching it in my own house, but seeing The Avengerstear up New York City on the big screen has to be one of the highlights of 2012. Action > Story in terms of the cinema-going enjoyment.
Just to be controversial I will also say the following
Batman Begins is overrated and I don’t get Liam Neeson’s appeal

The Beginning

 

Hello, and welcome to my blog! 
 
My name is Jack Kavanagh, some of you may know me as “The Brain”, due my pub quiz prowess, but I prefer Jack. During my first year of university I noticed that my grades were being held back by my apparent poor writing style, I was stuck and needed a solution to this dilemma. The next day inspiration struck. A blog! The perfect way to improve my writing. I proposed the idea to my friends, who expressed a mild interest in the idea, so I forged ahead.
I decided to write about the two areas that I am most interested in, Films & TV and music. The readers would probably be slightly more interested in my opinions on popular culture than a blog entitled ‘The Great Adventures of Jack Kavanagh’

So here it is, my first blog post. A proverbial toe dipped into the shark-infested waters known as the blogosphere.